Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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