Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
