we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
