taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
