Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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