getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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