Whod you bang
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
