Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
