I puked a lego.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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