She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
