Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
