FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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