my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
