You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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