this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
COCAINE IS GR8
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
