You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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