So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
me + whiskey = a bad person
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
