And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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