she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
