watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
