It's Friday. Sex?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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