I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
