Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
