Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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