So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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