You just made me feel so damn special
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
