Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
