So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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