I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
