four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
