we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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