took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
