some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm really busy with my period
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