I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Vodka?
Forever.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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