We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I looked at my own cervix.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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