I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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