I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
