wanna go halves on a baby?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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