yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
