Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
