operation have a gay friend backfired
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
