i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize