found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
