Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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