OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
