You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
