Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
