good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
