he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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