It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
