God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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