There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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