yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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