So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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