pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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