if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
