I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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