who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
