My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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