Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
