his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
