her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
