a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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